Work Things

Or rather, customer things. Working in a toy shop is often hilarious, mainly because of parents. They can be so touchy. And stupid. And anal. Sometimes really nice, but usually ridiculous.

• Mummies and Daddies arguing indirectly through their babies. This happens a lot. Examples:

"Maybe Daddy would be grumpy too, if he had a nipple infection. Yes he would!" (Different family) "Mummy doesn't look at prices, does she, my angel? No, mummy doesn't worry about that."

These are ACTUAL conversations that I've heard. Also, the marriage is truly over if they

they continue to call each other Mummy and Daddy when children are out of earshot.

• Teenage MC Daddy. This isn't generally a breed of parent, but rather one particular customer I saw the other week. This guy was in his late teens, he was of a chunky shape and wore a lovely tracksuit. He came in a few steps behind his mum, who was pushing his daughter's pram. It wasn't until they got closer that I realised he was 'freestyling' under his breath. Whilst his mother tried to engage him in conversation about what to buy the baby. At one point she uttered the words: "Grow up. She's your bloody baby." Then the entire shop got to listen to his very loud side of a phonecall regarding his YouTube videos and his newest beats. Contrary to the name of our shop, sweetheart, I don't care.
• Haggling. We are in England. In London, its capital. We are not a market stall. We are, in fact, a large, multinational company. So excuse me for not accepting this goat in exchange for that baby walker.
• Parents holding conversations with their children - and I've seen this happen with children as young as three or four - and casually swearing all over the shop (literally). Not mild swear words either, like bloody, or arse. Like, fuck. And wanker. We don't need to blame television for children's behaviour.
• "Excuse me, do you work here?" Nope. I just really enjoy loitering around toy shops in a pink polo top which says "Let's Play" in really big letters across my back.

Just a small sample of unintentional hilarity.